I might kill myself over this... should i and if not what should i do? (Part 2 of 3)?

PLEASE READ ALL PARTS!!! She said everything other than dating me. I told her the reason behind it. I said that she knew that I had never been affected by anyone else before and that I was completely in love with her and that the only person I could imagine myself with was her. She tried and tried to come up with a reason that completely avoided what I had just said for two months after. Then her ambition for it somehow died out for the most part. She asked me if nothing she was proposing was mattered to me then how it was that I was still alive. My answer remains the same today, the thought of me and her together. That’s what drives me even today. The year ended and I was distancing myself from her in an effort to get her to either spill or to evaluate the past year and come up with an answer. I came up with one, due to the fact that she knows that our relationship would be serious and that she wants the fun of dating random people I predicted that we would start dating at around either midway or late senior year of high school. Little would I know at the time I was only a few weeks away from snapping. Before I tell you the next part I need to tell you the “inside” story. Only Angela herself knows anything of this, until now of course. My soul has always been a Yin-Yang of Light and The Darkness. Yes, The Darkness. In 7th grade when Angela said that she used to be a suicide cutter and that she had tried to kill herself a few times before, I felt like dying myself. The war from there on had erupted. Light verses The Darkness in my soul. They used to be at neutrality, but at that point they were no longer. As time progressed, I noticed that what happened with things regarding me and Angela, affected the war within. Over the summer of my to 7th to 8th grade year The Darkness started to get the upper hand. I think that was because I hadn’t seen her in months. Not long into the next school year, It overtook my soul, or at least what was left of it, and corrupted me. With Angela only talking about her current and ex boyfriends my soul was being mutilated. At the end of the year my soul was not only nearly completely taken over by The Darkness but also it was almost dead. Only my love for Angela still remains. That is the only light part of me left. Now over the summer last year, and I don’t know if it was a dream or not my friends think it was but if it was it was a hellish one, literally, but I had a major asthma attack and had to go the hospital. Once there when I woke up from being ped out, I noticed a scalpel on the table next to me. There was no one else there so I slit my throat. I died there. The next thing I knew I was in Hell and I would come to spend just over a year there. In that time I went through indescribable torture, but I was not broken by it. I know what part of me that didn’t break. That was my love for Angela. Not even the hell of Hell can break that. The next thing I knew while I was undergoing hell I awakened in the hospital. Only 3 or 4 minutes had ped. My throat was glued shut and I was sitting on the bed surrounded by my parents and a few doctors with that thing that doctors use to shock your heart started. I told them a lot of information that would throw them off and make them think that it was accidental. That I reached over for a drink and my arm gave out making it drop and hit the edge of the scalpel, launching it up and across my throat. I went home and fell asleep but when I awoke it was the same day I died. I was confused but I didn’t argue.