Are grown men who wear shorts mentally disturbed?

My dear sir, you absolutely do not know what you are missing! Do you not enjoy the company of lovely ladies? The most modern of young ladies find men wearing shorts to be most attractive. They are unique & have exceptionally athletic abilities, if you know what I mean. You really shouldn't disparage something until you've tried it, my good man. After all, you don't want the ladies to think you're being stuffy & starting to show your age, now do you? Or maybe you're just too shy to show your legs?